Adoption as an option?

As if trying to conceive and having multiple miscarriages wasn't bad enough, I have also been labeled as someone who is "AMA" (of Advanced Maternal Age). Although that label is most often thrown around in the world of print media, I can't help but feel its sting every time I run across it in some "baby" article. Nevertheless, due to our ups and downs while trying to add to our family, Michael and I have also opened ourselves up to the idea of adoption.

Adoption, I've come to find out, is much like picking what type of fruit you want to eat. Do you want domestic or international? Do you want it to be open or closed? Do you want an infant or an older child? Do you want to go through a public agency or an independent agency? Whoa, wait a sec...I just wanted a banana to go on my bowl of Cheerios. Of course I want it to be a ripe banana, but seriously, I just want a banana...that's all.


For those of you who don't know, I am a severe Type A personality. Yes, I am one of those people who maps out (well in advance) which rides and attractions to hit when and where at Disney World, and of course the tickets are all purchased ahead of time, reservations made before we leave home, etc. You get the picture. Well, come to find out...adoption and Type A personalities are not necessarily the best of buddies.


Case in point, I have thoroughly researched options available for us (taking that dreaded AMA into account) and adoption agencies. I have talked to friends of mine who have adopted. I have narrowed it down to the agency we would use. I have contacted the agency and received their adoption packet. I have reviewed all the paperwork, and we've even talked to an adoption counselor from the agency. Sounds, great right? Well, yes, sort of.


All that I've mentioned totally satisfies the Type A side of me, but with adoption, I'm learning that Type A's also need to become Type B's (you know...patient, relaxed, easy going, roll with the flow, just wait and see sort of people). To be quite honest, brutally actually, I do not deal very well with the unknown. I am through and through a "know when my period is due to arrive, know what day I ovulate, know the sex of my baby before it's born kind of gal." So what do you mean I don't get to pick the birth mother of my future child, plan what month is best for it to be delivered, choose whether it is a boy or girl, know the exact moment that we will bond with the baby, or the day we finalize and he/she is really ours?


I have been told by those who have adopted that most of those questions and worries go out the window the moment you are told you have been matched with a birth mother, and moreover when that baby is placed in your arms. Michael and I so clearly remember what it felt like to hold our son for the very first time and the thought of having those feelings again brings a smile to our faces.


Over the next few months, we have alot to think about and what is best for us as a family. However, I am comforted by the fact that we have agreed that adoption is a possible option. Now, if someone will please just let me know (in advance of course) what the winning numbers are for the next Super Lotto (so we can actually afford to adopt)...I'll be all set!