Just Call Me The Queen Of Denial

As in...NO, NO, NO!

This cannot be happening to me AGAIN!

Tuesday evening right before I left work I felt a little bit of a "gush" down you know where.

At first, the gush was no big deal since the progesterone stuff I have been inserting vaginally does tend to melt like an ice cream cone on a hot day, but something just made me take a peek to see what was going on.

You guessed it...pink bloodlike spotting...again!

So of course, I rushed out of work in a panic and immediately called my nurse to explain what was going on. She told me to go home, put my feet up and she would schedule me to come in for an appointment the following morning (yesterday) at 8:45 a.m.

Now, let me just remind you all that I have an ultrasound appointment scheduled for this upcoming Monday (November 16), but evidently, we were going to get another look at Little Speck even earlier.

I don't have to tell you how frightened I was. I mean, spotting, again?!

When I had my last two miscarriages, we never made it past a second ultrasound because it was at that second ultrasound I found out (each time) that my babies had not made it. You can just imagine the fear that was running through my bones at the thought of having this second ultrasound (done even earlier than expected to boot) and because of an issue that could potentially be bad.

Now, ask me if I slept any on Tuesday night?!

We got to the doctor's office and my favorite ultrasound tech was the one who called my name. The minute I got in the room, I started to cry (she had been the tech both times I miscarried as well, so she knew my history).

Anyway, I layed back on the table and closed my eyes. All of a sudden, she gently touched my arm and said, "Tracey, there it is...you've got a beautiful heartbeat."

My eyes flew open and I said. "I do? Where is it?" and she then proceeded to point it out on a very blurry looking screen. I barely was able to discern it, but I knew whe was not lying and Michael clearly saw it from over her shoulder.

I was measuring 6 weeks and 6 days (two days off), but given the fact that this ultrasound was done on a different (and older) machine and by a different tech than last time, she assured me that it was no big deal. After all, it is really hard to get absolutely exact measurements on something the length of an eyelash, ya' know?

So, for your viewing pleasure, here is a second glance at Little Speck:



Of course, Little Speck looks more like a little blob right now, but the arrows are pointing to our miracle baby who is growing bit by bit every day, Praise God!

We then met with the doctor who seemed extremely pleased with the ultrasound results and decided to have me stop inserting ANYthing vaginally (sorry sweet hubby).

Instead, I am to take the progesterone orally and keep an eye on myself with regard to anymore spotting (as if I didn't already have an eagle eye into the toilet every time I pee).

He is keeping my appointment this Monday as well, so I will get yet another look at Little Speck and will be hoping and praying that the news is just as good then.

In the meantime, I cannot thank you enough for the kind and uplifting words and especially, your prayers.

My faith in God, my family and my friends are definitely helping me to get through this wonderful, yet very scary (at times) miracle baby journey.

God Bless!