We've Got A Plan

No, not house plans, more like a plan of action.

This morning I went and had a CD (Cycle Day) 3 ultrasound just to make sure that my ovaries were all clear, as in...no cysts.

I still don’t understand why they had to make sure I didn't have something that I've never had before (i.e., cysts), but I dutifully obliged and went to my scheduled appointment nevertheless.

Let me just let you know right now that these next few paragraphs are probably going to be way TMI (Too Much Information), but you know me, I'm not one for sherking any details.

If you don't already know or haven't already figured out, CD 3 means the 3rd day of your menstrual cycle. Now, I don't know about you, but my periods go somewhat like this...1st day - spotting/light flow, 2nd day - medium flow, 3rd day - yep, you guessed it...

MOUNT VESUVIUS!

Figures, right?!

Anyway, I get to the doctor's office and I wait for the ultrasound tech to call me back. Before too long she summons me behind the waiting room door and asks me, "Tracey, do you need to use the restroom?"

Um, like, was that a trick question? I mean, am I just supposed to yank out my tampon in the ultrasound room and lay it up there on the counter?

So, of course, I reply, "Yes."

Let me just add here that the restroom is DOWN THE HALL from the ultrasound room.

Okay, I proceed to go to the restroom and remove the plugging apparatus from my wha-hoo and because of my volcanic flow, I manage to get a stain on my Spanx. Yes, I admit it, I have thunder thighs and these things are awesome, especially under a skirt.

Back to the stain, there I am with Spanx in hand and toilet paper between my legs. I inch my way over to the sink to get a dab of water to wash away the stain and instead I wind up soaking the whole left leg of the undergarment!

By now I'm thinking to myself that the ultrasound tech probably thinks I ate too much for breakfast and I am doing more in the bathroom than peeing and so I hurriedly stuff the Spanx into my purse and shuffle my way back down the hall looking like Carol Burnett playing Mrs. Wiggins as she enters Mr. Tudball’s office, and hoping and praying that the toilet paper wad does not fall out on the floor between the walk from the restroom to the ultrasound room.

Whew! I make it there without incident and I am told the usual spiel, you know the one…“undress from the waist down and place the sheet across you.”

No problem. Only what do I do with my toilet paper wad? I decide to crunch it up and hold it in my hand for the time being.

The ultrasound begins and like I told you, everything was a-okay in ovary land.

The tech leaves the room and tells me I am free to go when I get dressed.

There was no way I was going to repeat the Tampax Tango down the hall again so I decide to just do what I needed to do in the ultrasound room.

I did however, forget that my Spanx were wadded up and wet in my purse. Have you ever tried to put on a pair of soaked pantyhose? YIKES! The darn spandex was sticking to me so badly; it was like I had poured Elmer’s Glue on my thighs.

After that mission was accomplished, and upon getting ready to leave the room, I noticed a nice big ole’ stain on the paper on the exam table. So, I do what anyone would do, I proceed to tear off the paper just like the nurses do.

Guess what? I forgot that those darn things are attached to a roll. Needless to say, I yanked a bit too hard and managed to roll out about enough paper to fix a King size bed before I actually could rip it off.

I then took the super sized mound of exam room paper, my tampon applicator, and the toilet paper wad and I molded it into something like this...

and then stuffed it in the trashcan with no sign of “stain” anywhere, and then I got the heck out of dodge!

What a morning letmetellya!

Okay, so back to the plan.

My nurse called a few hours later and said that my doc wants me to start off with Clomid (UGH!, not that stuff again) and then I will go in next week to see how many eggs I’m cooking. The doc will determine if we will need to add an injectible follicle stimulating hormone (FSH), probably Follistim, depending on how I am progressing.

So my friends, we are now officially back on the active TTC (Trying To Conceive) bandwagon.

Wish us luck, but more than that, please pray for us as we begin this journey…again.