Second Trimester

I cannot believe I am finally here, the second trimester a.k.a. "The Honeymoon" trimester, only, minus the 24 hour round-the-clock bedfest, i.e., sex.

Oh, how I would love a 24 hour bedfast now...for sleep that is...LOL!

Seriously, I will have to admit that thus far, the second trimester has felt like a honeymoon.

I really feel good.

Sometimes I even get scared that I am feeling good. Weird, but true.

Other than my growing waistline and increased bra cup size, I would hardly know I was pregnant right now.

The every hour on the hour peeing has slowed down a bit, the boobies are not as sore anymore, and although still tired, I do have much more get up and go in me lately.

I'm so glad that I saw Little Speck last week on the NT Scan just as a reassurance that yes, I really do have a baby growing inside me.

I have my next doctor's appointment on Tuesday and although I don't think I'll be having an ultrasound at that time, I will get to hear the heartbeat again and that is always such a relief.

I am hoping that the appointment after this one will be our anatomy scan...we are just dying to know if Little Speck is going to be a football player or a ballerina.

Either way, we will be doing some celebrating!

Speaking of which, 2010 is going to hold special meaning for me, and I hope it has special times in store for all of you as well.

I want to wish each and every one of you a very Happy and Blessed New Year!

Christmas Day 2009

We had a laid back, but wonderful Christmas.

Here are some photos from this morning...

A Lucky Little Boy, And Yes, That Is a High Powered BB Gun...Thanks Dad!

(Mom Was Not Too Thrilled About That Though…LOL!)

Here's What R.J. Thought Of His Presents

How Cool Is Batman?!

Because After All, Every Boy Needs A Motorcycle/Scooter From His Grandparents, Right?!

The Early Christmas Morning Family Shot, Bad Hair And All!

(Of Course, We've Got the Matching Pajamas Too)

Merry CHRISTmas!

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy,

which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour,

which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you;

Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host

praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. ~ Luke 2 10-14 (KJV)

Preliminary Results

Just got a call from Birmingham, AL (where we did the NT scan).

The first part of my test came back SCREEN NEGATIVE with a less than 2% chance of Down Syndrome, which is better than what it is statistically for my age group [2.5%]....WAHOOO!!!

Of course, this is only the first part of the test and they still have to combine it with my quad screen blood work at 15 weeks, but it is GREAT news.

What a WONDERFUL early Christmas gift...Praise God!

NT Scan Down, Bloodwork To Go

Sorry, I am just getting to you all now, but yesterday was a long day. We had to go to Birmingham, AL (about 1 1/2 hours from our home) for the NT Scan and then we ate lunch (P.F. Changs…yum!), shopped a bit at a wonderful shopping center called The Summit, came back home, and I took a 3 hour nap...whew!

Anyway, our scan measurement was a 2.0 mm and Little Speck was measuring 1 day ahead. The sonographer told us that for where I am in this pregnancy, that measurement was on target and "good".

There on the screen, plain as day, was a nasal bone, spine, brain lobes, two arms, two feet and a great heartbeat.

Face Shot (two black spots are the eyes and a sweet Buddha Belly)

Profile Shot

They said I should have the first part of the test results (NT scan, plus initial bloodwork) as early as this Wednesday (tomorrow), but perhaps next week due to the Holiday.

At 15 weeks they'll do a quad blood screen and then combine those results with these first part results to give us a final risk ratio for Downs Syndrome or Trisomy 18.

Do I understand all of this risk/ratio stuff? No, but what I do understand and KNOW is that the Lord is taking care of me and this babe and that is more important to me than any numbers/risk ratio they can give me.

As far as gender goes…Little Speck's legs were crossed the whole time but the sonographer's educated guess was 60% boy. Well, trust me, I am not going to go run out and start buying little boy clothes yet based on a crossed legged, 60% guess...LOL!

Guess we'll just have to wait until the official gender scan. I’m still feeling like it’s a girl, but I will take blue again FOR SURE!

Got Belly?

Okay, okay, I have finally given in. I whipped out the camera last night.

Given the fact that my starting weight with this baby is about 35 to 40 lbs. more than when I got pregnant with RJ seven years ago (thankyouverymuch fertility drugs and lax eating habits), I have been very hesitant to do any belly shots (oh, and of course I was waiting until I got past the 1st trimester too).

Anyway, here you go. Finally...the belly shots.

Don't be too shocked...I am definitely pooching!

I think I'm going to do them every 3 months for comparison.

12 weeks

Who Would Have Thunk It?!

This morning, my doctor's office called and told me that the NT scan is scheduled for next Monday (Dec. 21st) at 10:00 AM.

Wow, that was fast.

"Great!", I told the nurse.

And then the nurse said, "Tracey, don't forget to call us and let us know what it is."

I almost choked and said, "Excuse me? What do you mean, what it is?"

She then replied, "The ultrasound machine that they use at UAB (University of Alabama at Birmingham) is beyond high tech. You will be amazed as to what you will see. At 13weeks, we've had plenty of ladies come back with the news of pink or blue."

Okay, I am totally freaking out (about the NT scan in and of itself), but whoa, I may know what we're having before Christmas?!!

Who would have thunk it?!!!

Two In A Row

I had my doctor's appointment today and we are now two for two!

Yep, we have now heard the heartbeat via doppler two times in a row and my doctor said that at this point my miscarriage rate drops to less than 1%...Praise God!

Today's heart rate was a beautiful 163 BPM (beats per minute)!

Of course all worry is not gone, but I can honestly tell you that I do feel like some weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I will be 12 weeks tomorrow...a huge milestone!

My NT scan is to be scheduled within the next week or so. This is a prenatal test that is done to help assess the baby's risk of having Down syndrome and some other chromosomal abnormalities as well as major congenital heart problems. They also do a blood test combined with it.

The NT scan won't give me any diagnosis, but rather percentages of risk. Depending on those percentages, it will help us to know if we need to do any further and more definitive testing like an amnio.

Believe it or not, I am actually sort of looking forward to the NT scan because it will at least give us a chance to see Little Speck again. And since we haven't had an ultrasound since seven weeks or so, I'm excited to have the opportunity.

The Bible verse that keeps sticking in my mind right now is...

For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him.

~1 Samuel 1:27 (KJV)

Dear Lord, thank you for cradling this babe in your arms and for carrying us this far.

It's Finally Looking A Bit Like Christmas At Home

I am pleased to announce that our Christmas tree is FINALLY up!

With us being away the entire week of Thanksgiving, it kind of cut into my "putting up the tree" time.

To be quite honest with you, after spending eight days in Mickey land, I could not muster up the energy to spend my one free day (before going back to work) lugging the tree and decorations down from the attic. Instead, I spent it unpacking and doing the laundry...go figure?!

Anyway, this past weekend I had my hubby and brother get the tree down for me and then I got to it.

Er um, I sort of got to it.

I have to confess, I did not realize that I would be feeling as tired as I still am and so the tree did NOT get each and every ornament on it, nor did the house get each and every decoration put out, but it does look like Christmas nevertheless and that's always a comfy, cozy feeling.

The Tree

The Fireplace and Mantel

In Front of the Fireplace

The Mirror

(Note the angel that R.J. made and hung underneath the garland)

The Nativity

The Auburn Corner

(Remember, we live in the south and you know, here, it's all about football no matter what season it is...LOL!)

Why Can't Computer Hackers Find Something Else To Do?

I am so mad!

A website that I have been a member of for almost two years now (dealing with Trying to Conceive and Pregnancy issues) evidently was attacked by a computer virus yesterday!

Stinking hackers!

Why in the world do they have to spend their time being criminal deviants or just plain ole' wanting to mess around in other people's business menaces?

I mean, c'mon, attacking a trying to conceive website?! Do they not realize how hormonal us women on that site are to begin with? UGH!

What I really hate about it is that one buddy group in particular that I belong to has really become a close knit family and we have been there for each other through good times and bad times, happy times and sad times, and for just your average everyday shooting the breeze times.

It's only been a day and I miss my gals sooooo much! I feel naked (and trust me, right now, Tracey being naked is NOT a pretty site at all...LOL!)

A bunch of us have notified the original creator/administrator of the website and told her about the virus problem, but who knows if anything will be done about it?

I did read via google that it was the website that was infected and not the server, but being a techie/computer illiterate, I have absolutely no idea what that means?!

All I know is I want the website to be fixed and back up and running. I mean c'mon, it's finally my turn to share my good news with the gals and WHAM, door slammed shut!

Again I say, stinking hackers!!!

UPDATE:
The website I was talking about is now VIRUS free!!!
There, take that you stinking hackers and leave us hormonal ladies A-LONE!!!!

Just For The Fun Of It

Back before I lost my two babies last year, I had ordered this product called Intelligender when I found out I was pregnant the first time in July.

Anyway, who knows if it is accurate?

Of course the website has some pretty convincing testimonials and such, but really, I think it's a slicked up version of the old pee in a cup of Drano in order to check gender test.

So what the heck, right?! After all, it has been sitting in my cabinet for a year now, has not yet expired, and so I did it for fun if nothing else.

The instructions say you can do it as early as 10 weeks and so this morning I went for it.

Well, this is what it gave me...


Personally, I think I am having a girl, but we'll see in about another 10 weeks or so whether my intuition is right or if the Intelligender is.

Now, I might add that when my husband saw this "result" this morning he was walking around with his chest all puffed out (just like he did when we found out we were having RJ).

Men are so silly...they say it doesn't matter what the baby will be as long as it is healthy, but dangle that boy bone out there and they start to salivate like a hungry dog...LOL!

Seriously though, I know he will be perfectly thrilled if we wind up having a girl, but just to see his reaction this morning made me giggle.

As for me (and I sincerely mean this from my heart)...Lord, just please present us with a healthy baby and that's all that matters, not whether I will be decorating in pink or blue.

Back From Vacation And The Doctor's Office Too!

Hello, hello, hello!

Well, we are back from our Thanksgiving holiday in the land of all things mouse. Disney World was great (busy and crowded), but still great!

And yes, I did ride the scooter around the parks (just think Wal-Mart motorized cart only with not as big of a basket on front). And, of course, I've included a photo of it for your viewing pleasure.

No, I did not do anything stupid. In fact I avoided all rides that said, "EXPECTANT MOTHERS SHOULD NOT RIDE".

And just FYI, that means you can just stay back at your condo/hotel room when the family goes to the Animal Kingdom because there is absolutely NOTHING you can ride/go on in that park.

But hey, the Festival of the Lion King show was terrific thankyouverymuch!

My son (who turned 7 years old - on Thanksgiving Day -while on this vacation), was my big, brave boy and went on all the rides with Daddy including every single roller coaster and water ride. Given that this same child would not even entertain the thought of a roller coaster a year ago, this accomplishment was huge!

We only had one day of rain (out of 8 total). Water droplets did not deter us and we braved our second day at the Magic Kingdom with umbrella in hand and ponchos ready to go.

It was a wonderful family vacation, but there is nothing like being home and sleeping in your own bed.

In fact, my husband said to me when we got home, "Babe, it was great fun, but I'm good for another four years before we go back again."

Okay, so it looks like R.J. will be 11 years old at his next Disney visit and I will be pushing a stroller...LOL!

Here are some pics (and I'm sure you will recognize some of the famous characters aside from the three of us that is...LOL!)

ANIMAL KINGDOM

CAPTAIN HOOK, SMEE AND THEIR TWO PIRATES

RAINY NIGHT AT THE MAGIC KINGDOM

MAGIC CARPET RIDE

THE JUNGLE CRUISE

WINNIE THE POOH RIDE

THE BOY AND THE CASTLE

MICKEY AND THE GANG

HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS

RAINY DAY AT THE MAGIC KINGDOM

THE CASTLE

MIKEY FROM MONSTER'S INC.

THE BIRTHDAY BOY AND HIS CAKE

THE BROWN DERBY IN HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS

MAIN STREET AT THE MAGIC KINGDOM

PETER PAN

THE MOUSE HIMSELF

GOOFY

EPCOT

THE SCOOTER!

Okay, now back on the home front...

I had my doctor's appointment today and we were able to actually HEAR the baby's heartbeat for the very first time!

Honestly, it was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.

Michael and I both had tears in our eyes. The heart rate was 170 BPM, loud and clear and strong!

Praise God for his hands cradling this babe.

We go back in two more weeks and at that time I will be closing in on the first trimester...finally!

Giving Thanks

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."
~Psalm 107:1 (NIV)

No, I did not bring my laptop to the land of the famous Mouse (chalk it up to setting up a publish date on Blogger prior to leaving), but I could not let today go by without wishing everyone a Happy Thankgiving, and personally giving thanks for my greatest and most precious blessing.

Seven years ago today, I gave birth to our son, R.J.

Here is a look at our very first "together as a family" photo. He was only hours old.

Although I was a severely water retentioned, 60 lbs. heavier Tracey at the time, I could not have been any happier. We had a son. A healthy, beautiful, 6lb. 11 oz. baby boy.

Talk about a being thankful!

Fast forward seven years later and that same sweet and precious baby has really grown.

Oh, yes, he still is my sweet and precious boy, but definitely no longer a baby by any means.

HAPPY 7th BIRTHDAY!

You are going to be a wonderful Big Brother my darling son!

Before I end this post, I want to thank the Lord for the many blessings he has bestowed upon my life...my son, my husband, my family, my friends, and this amazing life growing inside of me.

May God bless each and everyone of you as well!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Did You Hear?

Tracey is taking a bloggy break for about 10 days and this picture should give you a great big hint as to where she'll be!

Yep, you guessed it folks...we are headed to Disney World.

Now, let me just tell you that when we planned this trip, I joked around with my husband and said, "After trying to conceive for almost another whole year, watch me get pregnant now that we've planned this trip."

Well, slap me silly and call my clairvoyant!

Who would have thunk it?!

So there you have it, we are Florida bound and pregnant.

My doctor was not too thrilled that we are going on this trip right now, but we have non-refundable plane tickets, non-refundable Disney tickets and non-refundable accommodations so cancelling this vacation was totally out of the question.

Plus, my son will be celebrating his birthday while we are there and to say he is excited about going is an understatement!

On the flip side, my doctor did say that if something was to happen (God forbid), it would happen whether I was in Alabama or not and I just need to listen to my body, take breaks when I need to and not do anything stupid.

C'mon doc, after it has taken us so long to get here, do you really think I'm going to be riding the Tower of Terror or the Rock 'N' Roller coaster?

Ah, that would be NO!

Seriously though, I do appreciate his concern and I would be lying if I told you I wasn't just a wee little bit on edge, but I know I'm not the first woman to go to Disney World pregnant and I certainly won't be the last. Besides, my son is at the age where he can go on all the rides with my husband that I won't be able to do this time around.

Oh, and my husband has already got it in his mind that I'm going to be riding around the parks in an electronic chair just to be on the safe side...LOL!

So my sweet blogger friends, don't be worried when you don't see any posts for about a week or so, just close your eyes and picture this grown woman wearing Mickey Mouse ears and cruising around Cinderella's castle in an ECV (Electric Convenience Vehicle).

Talk to you all soon!

Oh, one more thing before I go...if any of you have been to Disney while pregnant and have any advice and/or suggestions to pass along, please do. I would welcome your input!

P.S. Please remember to keep me and this babe in your prayers while I am away. It would mean so much to me! Thanks!

A Good Day

Today was another good day at the doctor's office, and I cannot sing enough praises to our Lord for his goodness and mercy. I know that He is guiding me and this babe every single step of the way.

Okay, so we're not quite sure if Little Speck is going to be a body builder or a ballerina, but what we do know is that he/she is still growing strong!

Here is the latest ultrasound picture. Our precious baby is measuring 7 weeks 5 days.

I go back in two more weeks and at that time the doctor is going to try and listen for the heartbeat on doppler.

If we can't pick up the heartbeat on the doppler at that time (since I'll only be at just about 10 weeks) then I'll get another ultrasound to gauge heartbeat and another look at Little Speck...and you know I will never will get tired of that ;0)

In the meantime, it looks like all is well and what a relief that is!

I'm 43 And Afraid To Pee

Hi, my name is Tracey and I am addicted to looking at toilet paper when I wipe and what color of pee falls in the bowl.

After all, the first step is admitting you have a problem, right?!

I know, I know, it's sounds stupid, but it's true.

Every since my two spotting episodes, I have been absolutely paranoid about going to the restroom.

So much so that I say a quick prayer before I enter a stall or my own private bathroom at home.

I am pleased (and relieved) to report that as of Wednesday, this gal has been free of spotting!

Dear Lord, please let it stay that way.

Of course, I still have this weekend to get through before our next ultrasound on Monday, but just being spot free for several days in a row has really helped my psyche.

However, more than anything, this Bible verse has helped me the most.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

~Phillipians 4:6-7 (NIV)

So, I am once again clinging to His word and claiming it as my own!

May you all have a wonderful weekend and thank you for remembering to keep me and this precious miracle of life in your prayers.

God Bless!

Just Call Me The Queen Of Denial

As in...NO, NO, NO!

This cannot be happening to me AGAIN!

Tuesday evening right before I left work I felt a little bit of a "gush" down you know where.

At first, the gush was no big deal since the progesterone stuff I have been inserting vaginally does tend to melt like an ice cream cone on a hot day, but something just made me take a peek to see what was going on.

You guessed it...pink bloodlike spotting...again!

So of course, I rushed out of work in a panic and immediately called my nurse to explain what was going on. She told me to go home, put my feet up and she would schedule me to come in for an appointment the following morning (yesterday) at 8:45 a.m.

Now, let me just remind you all that I have an ultrasound appointment scheduled for this upcoming Monday (November 16), but evidently, we were going to get another look at Little Speck even earlier.

I don't have to tell you how frightened I was. I mean, spotting, again?!

When I had my last two miscarriages, we never made it past a second ultrasound because it was at that second ultrasound I found out (each time) that my babies had not made it. You can just imagine the fear that was running through my bones at the thought of having this second ultrasound (done even earlier than expected to boot) and because of an issue that could potentially be bad.

Now, ask me if I slept any on Tuesday night?!

We got to the doctor's office and my favorite ultrasound tech was the one who called my name. The minute I got in the room, I started to cry (she had been the tech both times I miscarried as well, so she knew my history).

Anyway, I layed back on the table and closed my eyes. All of a sudden, she gently touched my arm and said, "Tracey, there it is...you've got a beautiful heartbeat."

My eyes flew open and I said. "I do? Where is it?" and she then proceeded to point it out on a very blurry looking screen. I barely was able to discern it, but I knew whe was not lying and Michael clearly saw it from over her shoulder.

I was measuring 6 weeks and 6 days (two days off), but given the fact that this ultrasound was done on a different (and older) machine and by a different tech than last time, she assured me that it was no big deal. After all, it is really hard to get absolutely exact measurements on something the length of an eyelash, ya' know?

So, for your viewing pleasure, here is a second glance at Little Speck:



Of course, Little Speck looks more like a little blob right now, but the arrows are pointing to our miracle baby who is growing bit by bit every day, Praise God!

We then met with the doctor who seemed extremely pleased with the ultrasound results and decided to have me stop inserting ANYthing vaginally (sorry sweet hubby).

Instead, I am to take the progesterone orally and keep an eye on myself with regard to anymore spotting (as if I didn't already have an eagle eye into the toilet every time I pee).

He is keeping my appointment this Monday as well, so I will get yet another look at Little Speck and will be hoping and praying that the news is just as good then.

In the meantime, I cannot thank you enough for the kind and uplifting words and especially, your prayers.

My faith in God, my family and my friends are definitely helping me to get through this wonderful, yet very scary (at times) miracle baby journey.

God Bless!

A Scary Saturday

I woke up at 4 a.m. on Saturday to go to the bathroom and there it was...BLOOD! I wiped and I was still spotting.

I totally freaked and woke Michael up in a panic.

Needless to say, I was completely petrified because my first miscarriage started this way...first the spotting, then the bleeding, then the cramping and then...well, you already know what eventually happened.

Dear Lord, I prayed, please do not let this be the beginning of the end.

Michael told me to calm down and reminded me what the doctor had told me at our last visit...light bleeding/spotting was okay and no serious cause for alarm as long as it did not get any heavier and it was not accompanied by cramps (neither of which I was experiencing).

I layed back down and prayed that this was just a fluke.

Something was telling me that I was having a reaction/irritation due to the progesterone (Endometrin) I was inserting vaginally...again.

I texted my nurse later that morning and she said to continue to insert the med, so I did, and for the rest of the day, the light bleeding/spotting continued.

At about 9:00 p.m. I told Michael that I was not going to give myself that last dose of progesterone just to see if the spotting would stop.

Guess what?

I woke up the next morning to no bleeding/spotting at all!

What a relief!

I had some oral progesterone (Prometrium) in my possession and so I decided to take that Sunday and give my body a break from inserting anything vaginally for at least a day.

Yesterday came and went with no issues...Praise the Lord!

I can take the oral progesterone and use it vaginally so that is what I have done beginning this morning and again, so far, so good. I have had no adverse reaction whatsoever.

I totally believe that for some reason, my body is reacting badly to the other progesterone prescription.

Whatever it is, at least I have had two days now of no bleeding/spotting.

Mentally and emotionally, that has put me in a much, much better place.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I am tired, no, really TIRED!!

Okay, maybe exhausted is a better word.

Whatever you call it I can hardlry keoep myt eyedfs opejn!

See what I mean!

I’m beginning to wonder what the point is of going to sleep at 8:30 p.m. every night and waking up in the morning (thinking I had enough sleep) only to want to close my door and crawl up on the floor under my desk by time I get to work.

Of course, that's probably not the best thing to do, especially around promotion time...LOL!

Anyway, I just can’t help it though!

I’m thinking that next week I’m going to secretly sneak in my son’s napper (from when he was in daycare) with the excuse that I’m taking it to get reconfigured into a lap throw on my lunch hour and then secretly stash it away in my office drawer for use during oh, let’s just say, break time, lunch time, etc. - - you get the picture, right?!

While I'm on the subject of sleepiness, just thought I’d bring up another bed-related topic…the baby dance (you know…sex).

Because of my two previous early miscarriages and more recently my spotting/bleeding episode, sex is the farthest thing from my mind.

However, let me just add that I love my husband and do not wish to deprive him in any way (especially since he did have a thing to do with contributing to this tiredness, right?!), but I am just here to tell you that never more has the quote in the book, The Girlfriends’ Guide To Pregnancy, by Vicki Iovine been more appropriate.

Here, I’ll share the gem:

“ATTENTION HUSBANDS OF NEWLY PREGNANT WOMEN: Do not take it personally when your wife would rather sleep than sleep with you! She really cannot help it and it is absolutely no reflection on your manhood or how much she loves you. Try again tomorrow morning after she has had some rest (unless, of course, she has morning sickness, too, in which case, try the Playboy channel).”

Okay, so thankfully (at least right now) I don’t have any morning sickness (and I didn't when I was pregnant with my son either), but the other scenario she mentions absolutely applies in my case.

Sorry, but true, my dear husband…however, I promise I’ll call the cable company and get that Playboy channel hooked right up! Better yet, I'll have them install ALL 900 college football channels as well.

There, that oughta' cover it.

Now, if I could just find the most comfortable spot in my office for that napper...

All Is Well

Therefore I will give thanks to You, O LORD, among the nations,

And I will sing praises to Your name. (2 Samuel 22:50)

This was the scripture for Today's Word with Joel and Victoria Osteen. How absolutely appropriate as it captures exactly how I am feeling at the moment.

Yesterday's recap:

My doctor was called away to do an emergency surgery when we got to the office yesterday, so we waited an hour and 15 minutes before they even got to us...sorry to keep you all waiting, but trust me, the wait was just as hard on us too.

My ultrasound showed our little speck at 5w6d which is exactly to the day of the first day of my last menstrual period (which is what they use to calculate the due date).

We saw a pulsating little heartbeat, but we were not able to get a beat count yet since I am still so early. Out of the last two pregnancies (that ended in miscarriage), this heartbeat was by far the clearest and strongest pulsating one yet so that made me feel good.

The doctor checked me internally and said that he did not see any residual bleeding, but he did see some irritation and that was nothing unusual given the fact that I am inserting something down there 3x/day. He said that brownish/pinkish is okay and even red blood spots are okay as long as it doesn't flow like a period.

He went on to say that he totally understands my concern and I did the right thing by calling. He said that if it would make me feel better, I could come in weekly if I wanted, but if not, I am to not ever hesitate to call if I am worried and they will fit me in. I love that man!

The doctor also said I have a corpus lutem cyst. Not really sure what that is, but he said it is what's feeding the baby right now? He wants me to continue doing the same meds I am doing and then I go back in two weeks (November 16) for my second ultrasound. He said that second ultrasound will tell us a whole lot as far as how this pregnancy is probably heading.

The doctor is happy and we are relieved…for now. We know we have to take this one step and one day at a time.

Thank you all for your prayers and wonderful words of encouragement. I am honored and humbled by the fact that you all have decided to follow this this journey with me.

God Bless!

But, before I go...

INTRODUCING

Our little speck!

Our Due Date is June 29, 2010!

Spotting...Dear Lord Help Me

There has been a slight change in plans.

When I inserted my progesterone just a little while ago, I wound up spotting...small red specs of blood.

I am hoping and praying that this is being caused due to my cervix being irritated by the suppositories that I have been doing three times a day, but of course I am absolutely terrified!

I called my doctor's office and they are going to have me come in today at 3:30 PM (CST) just to be sure everything is okay.

Lord, please be with me and surround me with peaceful thoughts so that I will not let the enemy get a hold of my mind.

Asking for your prayers...again.

I will be back to update (hopefully with news that all is okay).

God Bless!

I'll Get Through This

Tomorrow is the big day...our first ultrasound.

I should be ecstatic, but that is not the word to describe how I am feeling for sure.

You see, when I had my first miscarriage, we went for our first ultrasound and I was measuring almost two weeks behind (not good). We waited another two weeks and when we went back for that ultrasound, we had a heartbeat...praise God. However, that very same evening, I started to cramp and spot and withing 24 hours I went from being overjoyed at the doctor's office to being in an emergency room miscarrying our child and having a D & C.

With my second miscarriage, we went for our first ultrasound and we saw a heartbeat immediately and measured only 2 days off (no big deal). We felt a sigh of relief and thought this was going to be totally different...everything was going to be okay. I rocked along for another 3 weeks with no visible problems, no spotting, no cramping, etc. Then the day came for our follow-up ultrasound and there it was...NO HEARTBEAT. We lost this baby too. Needless to say, we were completely devastated and spent New Year's Eve day in a surgical center as I underwent my second D & C in less than 4 months.

And so now, here I am just one day away from my first ultrasound with this pregnancy, and instead of feeling giddy and anticipatory, I am feeling anxious and worried. Will there be a heartbeat? Will I measure on track? Will I spot and miscarry after having the ultrasound done?

Questions I know cannot be answered since the future of this babe inside my womb has already been determined, but as a human I am weak and so I question.

What I do know is that I will get through this...my fear, my worry, my doubts, my questioning. Because deep down I know that the Lord will carry me through just has He has done in the past and just as He continues to do now and will forever more!